more than anything

more than anything. what a dramatic little phrase. i wrote this in my sketchbook a few days ago:

"learning to shoot under my own discipline. overwhelmed with a sense of peace and contentment. everything will be okay as long as i have my camera. a camera. any camera. everything will be okay. more than anything."

(aside from that being some of the cheesiest writing i've ever done) i assume that i meant to write something else after "more than anything," but i'm kind of glad i never got the chance.

this week i've been overwhelmed with thoughts that can scarcely be described as peaceful or content. they are more of the frustrated and stuck variety. i wish i could say that this could be solved by shooting some photos, but i shot a roll or two yesterday morning, so i'm pretty sure that didn't help (yes, i realize that it may help to actually process them and that the shooting is really only half the therapy). but no, this is just one of those weeks where the worry creeps up on me thick as fog and lays over me in my bed where i'm trying to sleep, and, like any storm, i just have to wait quietly while it passes trusting all the while that it will. while (more than anything) wishing it would just leave already.

i warned you it was dramatic (are you crying yet alissa?).